


Texting Tips

by thiswilldrivemecrazy



Category: Marvel Avengers Movies Universe, The Avengers (2012)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-11-14
Updated: 2012-11-14
Packaged: 2017-11-18 15:42:30
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 818
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/562679
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thiswilldrivemecrazy/pseuds/thiswilldrivemecrazy
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>What happens when Thor gets a phone, and Darcy is the one who explains texting to him.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Texting Tips

**Author's Note:**

> Inspired by SHIELD Recruit Survival Tip #360

“So you send messages of affection to the one you love?” Thor asked.  
Darcy grinned. “Sure, if that’s how you want to think about it.” She took the phone off Thor and typed out a message. “Better way to think of it is describing what you would do to them if you were alone with them.” She showed him the message, ready to be sent to Jane.  
Thor actually blushed. “I cannot put that in writing to her. Anyone might read it. And I would not use such crude language. Besides, they are your words, not mine. Do you want to do that to her?”  
Darcy laughed. “Nooooo. The ‘crude language’ is the whole point. It lets humans know that you care.”  
“But Jane already knows that I care.”  
“That’s not the point. Everyone does it - well, all the cool kids do, anyway.”  
Thor frowned. Some of the more modern Midgardian customs still confused him, but Darcy did always seem to know what she was talking about when it came to Midgardian culture. He fumbled with the phone and changed one of the words in the message Darcy had typed out to something slightly more -polite- and sent it. “So this is a normal way for you to communicate by these devices? To tell someone what you would do to them if you were alone with them?”  
Darcy fought hard to keep a straight face. “Yeah, or send pictures, but we’ll leave teaching you about the camera in your phone for another day.” She bit her bottom lip to stop herself from laughing. “I have to go now. I have a meeting with someone.”  
Thor nodded, only half paying attention to Darcy. He was staring at the message Jane had sent back to him with a strange look on his face.  
Darcy hastily turned her giggle into a cough. “I’ll leave you alone, then…”  
Thor looked up as Darcy left the room. “Darcy, thank you for explaining this finer point of these phones to me.”  
“Not a problem at all, Thor,” she said. She left the room and walked down the corridor for a few meters before breaking into a run. 

A week later, Darcy was summoned to a meeting. She breezed into the the briefing room, humming the latest song that was stuck in her head, wondering what was going on. Director Fury and Agent Coulson were standing in the room, but there was no-one else there.  
“Take a seat, Ms. Lewis,” Fury said.  
Darcy sat down, wondering what they wanted to talk about. She usually only ever attended meetings with these two if they wanted to talk to Jane, and Jane wanted her to take minutes. She looked over her shoulder at Coulson as the straight-faced agent stepped to the door and closed it.  
“We need to talk.”  
“Sure. What’s up?” Darcy kept her tone flippant.  
Coulson sat in the chair opposite Darcy and slid a photo and several pages of printed text over the table to her. The photo appeared to have been taken from one of the surveillance cameras and showed her showing Thor how to use his phone. The pages covered in text appeared to detail the more recent messages sent from Thor’s phone. Darcy’s eyes opened wide and she grinned on reading some of them.  
“Would you care to explain, Ms. Lewis?” Fury leaned on the table. “What did you tell Thor?”  
“He just wanted some pointers on using his phone,” Darcy replied.  
“And what, exactly, did you tell him?”  
Darcy looked between Coulson and Fury. They were both so serious. She thought Thor’s messages were cute, particularly the ones to those he obviously did not like. Maybe telling him to tell people what he would do to them if he was alone with them hadn’t been the best way to explain sexting.  
“We’ve got an astrophysicist who’s so distracted by his messages that she’s forgotten every meeting this week, and a bunch of recruits who have all reported to the counsellor out of fear of their lives just for accidentally eating the last pop-tarts in the mess.” Fury pointed to the pages of text messages. “What did you tell him?”  
Darcy pursed her lips. “That humans use text messages to tell others what they would do to someone if they were alone with them.”  
Coulson hid a smile. That certainly explained the spread of intimate and aggressive messages the god of thunder had been sending.  
Fury stood up straight. “And you thought that was a good idea?”  
“He asked me how to use his phone. I just gave him some pointers.”  
Fury shook his head. He couldn’t use the usual Loki- or Deadpool-sitting punishment for her. She would likely enjoy it and who knew what any of them would come up with if left alone for several hours. “Just go, Ms. Lewis,” he said. “And don’t give him any more ‘pointers’.”


End file.
